34 weeks

sweet kitten is 34 weeks!  she should weigh somewhere around 4 3/4 pounds, like a cantaloupe.  she's at least 18 inches long but it feels like twice that considering she's somehow able to kick and punch me everywhere all at once.  we have 42 days left until her due date and i'm still mostly wearing my regular clothes.  i don't want to jinx myself, but i don't have any swelling or stretch marks.  i do have some pretty bad lower back and hip pain that is starting to impact my sleep, but if you know me at all you know i can sleep through anything.

we continue to be showered with gifts on an almost daily basis every time we check the mail.  cassondra sent a big box full of super cute outfits and various baby necessities.  we also received the adorable pack and play my mom sent and an epic care package full of oreos, cake mix, frosting, canned pumpkin, and fall/halloween decorations, which i immediately set up to go along with the stuff that colby's mom sent the week before.  i've been burning pumpkin spice candles every day and several surfaces in our apartment are now covered with fake leaves, pumpkins and skeletons.  and speaking of leaves, i got the sweetest little package in the mail the other day from leann full of actual fall leaves from illinois!  i haven't gotten around to taking pictures yet, but there will be a photo bomb post soon, i promise.

it sucks being so far away from everyone, but we feel extremely lucky and loved to have so many amazing people caring about us and our baby cat!!!

xoxoxo

p.s. i never got around to posting the 33 week pics because i didn't care for any of them, but i did upload a few to the photo album.

33 weeks

baby kitten is 33 weeks and they say she weighs as much as a pineapple.  her bones are hardening and she continues to fatten up those big baby thighs so i can tickle them!  her due date is 49 days from today.  how crazy is that?

i'm a little late getting this posted because colby and i spent the day on st. thomas.  we went to tour the hospital and honestly it feels like a setback in my confidence regarding our birth experience.  when i called the hospital i was transferred 4 times just to get to labor and delivery, and everyone i talked to seemed to be resistant to the idea of us touring even though that's a normal thing people do all the time.  when we got to the hospital, everyone was rude and unhelpful.  the midwife who showed us around seemed nice at first, but was condescending as the tour went on and we asked more questions.  she reminded me repeatedly that things don't go as planned, yet she was the one to suggest having a birth plan.  i mentioned that i want to wear my own clothes and she felt it necessary to remind me that birth is messy.  no shit?  it's not like i want to wear a designer suit, lady.  i told her we don't want the vitamin K shot, hep B vaccine, etc. and she said to be prepared to fight them on it.  i'm not fighting anyone on anything.  it's my baby and she doesn't need anyone sticking her with needles or putting chemicals in her eyes within hours of being born, and that's all there is to it.  the worst news is that i only get to hold her immediately after delivery for one hour and then they take her for 2 hours!  the reasoning is that once they bathe and weigh her she has to stay in the nursery to warm up.  it's pretty common knowledge (not to mention amazing science) that the best way to warm up a newborn baby is on her mother's chest, so i'm not happy about this at all.  at least colby gets to go to the nursery and keep an eye on her the whole time, and then she stays with me in my room until we check out.

the most exciting part of our day was going to k-mart and buying our first box of diapers!  we ate lunch at wendy's and watched cruise ship people walk by, and later went to mcdonalds for mcflurries.  i've had enough junk food for a week, but i justify it because we have zero fast food on st. john so i haven't had wendy's or mcdonald's in months.  going to st. thomas is exhausting for some reason, so we're going to get to bed early tonight and take it easy tomorrow on our second day off together in a row.  it's almost like we're normal people.

i'm struggling today with words to express how much my heart is breaking for my cousin mary.  one of her newborn twins, sophia, passed away yesterday at 5 weeks old and i can't imagine what she is going through.  i've had this feeling that once our kitten gets here she'll be safe and we'll be able to protect her, but clearly that's not how it works.  we're signed up for a lifetime of risk and worry.  i just don't understand how something so beautiful and perfect can be taken away so quickly.

32 week pics

we walked next door to enighed pond where the car barge comes in for pics this week since it's so close.  considering we only spent 10 minutes over there, i think we got some really cute pictures.

more pictures :)

so, i'm crazy

since i first found out i was pregnant, i have known that i was meant to have babies.  my body is designed for this and i have no fear of pregnancy, labor, or raising children.  at least once a day i have a "wow this is a freaking miracle" moment, even though i know that it's purely biology -- crazy, weird biology, but when it's all said and done it's just science and all mammals do it.  i have a very high pain tolerance and a strong mental ability to talk myself into or out of anything.  when i told my midwife i was considering a natural birth she said "if you think you can do it, you can."  it's really that simple.

since making that decision, i've been told by just about every woman i've met to get the epidural, don't be crazy, you won't feel it, and it will be such a wonderful experience.  but, i've read the statistics and i know that epidurals can slow progression which can drag labor out longer and lead to emergency c-sections.  epidurals can also mask the urge to push, leading to doctor-lead pushing which can result in a higher risk of tearing or needing assistance getting the baby out.  that, to me, is scary, unlike the prospect of doing something my body was made for.

i was sort of planning on just going on instinct, but i was at the used book store/coffee shop the other day and i saw a book called hypnobirthing.  i had heard about it on babycenter, but the name is a little off-putting and granola.  it was $10 so i figured what the hell.  if i don't go in with a solid idea of what's going on, i might end up getting pushed around by the staff at the hospital and unhappy with my birth experience.  this book is informative so far, but also interspersed with stories of successful (not to mention uneventful) natural births.  the methods are nice, but the stories truly inspire me because we so often hear of dramatic 36 hour long labor complete with screaming and misery that end in c-section or stitched up episiotomies.

i'm also open to the idea that regardless of my mental and physical preparation i could have a narrow pelvic opening and a hard labor like all the women in my family.  i'm not looking to refuse any medical intervention if my baby is truly in danger, but i am trying to avoid the downward spiral that can happen when one goes in with full trust of doctors and nurses who don't always have our best interests in mind.

don't worry, i got this!

32 weeks

mini-kitty is 32 weeks!  she's really starting to get crowded in there.  babycenter says she's the weight of a jicama, but let's be honest, these vegetable comparisons are getting pretty ridiculous.  kitten has toenails, fingernails, and hair and i'm sure every bit of it is beautiful.  she's rolling around like crazy and i have no idea where her various parts are at any given time, but i can tell she's head down when i feel hiccups.  she seems to be mostly smooshed over on my left side because i'm still having trouble sleeping on that side, and that's where the most alien movement comes from when i'm watching my belly morph.

it's official, my mom booked her flight here!   hopefully this cat comes a couple days early or right on time so i have a full 2 weeks of grandma help.  i can probably figure it out, but she's kind of awesome at the mom thing so i'd rather not do it alone.

i have to say that i absolutely love being pregnant.  i'm so excited to meet our baby girl, but i'm going to miss carrying her in my belly everywhere i go.  i discovered this week that she doesn't really enjoy ryan adams when he's wailing and crying about his broken heart, but she loves celine dion.  i feel great except for a little hip pain when i sleep and some random knee and ankle aches but nothing even worth complaining about.  still no swelling, waddling, cramping, stretch marks, or peeing myself, and i can easily pick things up off the ground.  colby and i walked to the resort yesterday and i felt good.  i also did some squats while watching tv and need to remember to do that every day.

here's a picture of sebastian wearing one of kitten's outfits we got from janet, just because...

how spoiled is our cat?

packages have been flowing in on a daily basis now and we are so excited and thankful!  it's like a long distance baby shower every time i check the mail!

so far we've received a huge care package from janet full of baby basics in various sizes.  we're especially excited about all the turtles and puppies all over everything and the fact that most of the stuff is gender neutral. how cute is that cherry sweater?

we also got a package from uncle pat and aunt sara which includes teething rattles, beanie babies, hair clips, and my favorite - kitten paw socks!

kitten's nana sent us a whole SUITCASE full of stuff!  super cute north carolina onesies, christmas outfits, a pink cat hooded towel, the most adorable overalls you've ever seen....

i created a new photo album just for pictures of gifts we've gotten.  click here to see it all.
we also received a breast pump from the registry and have no idea who it's from.  i very very very much appreciate it!!!  thanks to everyone!  <3

xoxo
colby, nellie, and kitten catherine

31 week pictures

31 weeks

kitty long-legs is 31 weeks!  there isn't a whole lot of exciting development going on; she's just packing on the pounds and making me uncomfortable.  i feel lucky to still be sleeping very well and physically capable of doing everything i want to do, but not without some aches and pains.  my left hip is frequently numb and painful at the same time, as it feels like my leg is falling out of the socket, but if these already wide birthing hips have to spread more to accommodate baby girl i'm all about it.  this should work in my favor toward my goal of getting her out in 6 hours start to finish.

i experienced my first rib kicks the other day while checking out at the grocery store.  it's more painful than i thought it would be!  luckily she moved off of that spot and is instead kicking me square in between my ribs where it appears that a bruise has developed.  she's keeping my posture good because she absolutely hates when i slouch and my bra underwires push against the top of my belly. 

i was reading on babycenter today story after story of babies born at 35-36 weeks that did not even have a NICU stay and went home in 1-2 days.  that is absolutely terrifying as we are really not ready to have kitten home in 4 weeks.  she doesn't have a car seat or a place to sleep yet!  i've been holding off on washing her clothes because i haven't gotten the storage units in that i need to hold all her tiny cute stuff and i don't want things to get dusty before she even arrives.  what i'm saying is, we are completely unprepared.  maybe this will kick in my nesting instinct.

weird pregnant dreams

lately i've been noticing a theme in my dreams where i'm a total badass.  the first dream i had like this involved a man attacking me and, using my jiu-jitsu and kickboxing training, i fought back and choked him unconscious.  then i had another dream where someone in a white minivan was trying to hit me so i jumped up in the air, kicked them in the face through the open window and they drove off a dock into the water.  last night's dream was a little different, but it involved my whole family and colby's family in a house where there was a tornado warning.  no one was concerned, but i convinced everyone to get in the basement just in time before a tornado destroyed the entire house.  i'm basically a hero.

i like to think that i'm having these dreams as a reflection of how i view childbirth and parenting.  i am completely convinced that i will attack labor, kick it in the face, choke it out and walk out of the hospital in a blaze of glory with baby in my arms and colby by my side as the hospital is sucked up by a tornado.

30 week pictures

by some miracle, we both had the day off today.  we were too lazy to go to the beach early enough for the good light, so we waited until late afternoon and hoped for some sunset luck.  i'm loving my round belly and still can't believe how little time is left.

more pictures

30 weeks!!!!!

kitten love is 30 weeks!  i love a good round number, so i'm overly excited to make it to 30.  she should be somewhere around a foot and a half long now, and weigh over 3 pounds.  she's being compared to the weight of a head of cabbage.  i'm pretty sure each of my boobs weighs about as much as a cabbage too.  kitten's swimming around in a pint and a half of amniotic fluid and her vision is starting to develop more.  hopefully she'll have perfect vision like her mom and dad, and stay away from bb guns to keep it that way.

now that she has abandoned her awkward transverse position, i've started to finally look undoubtedly  pregnant, just in time to enter my 8th month next week.  yesterday was the first time i've spotted my reflection and thought there was no way a stranger could mistake me for fat.  i absolutely love my pregnant body!  i could do without the fat face, but it's a small price to pay.

stubborn kitten finally moved out of her awful transverse position, and i'm pretty sure she's head down!  all the action is a couple inches over my belly button now, and when she gets hiccups i feel it down really low.  at the beach today, i crunched up and everything was dead center in my belly up and down.  it looked SO WEIRD.  in other great news, i slept through the night without any kicks or pee breaks last night.  she let me sleep on my sides comfortably and didn't kickbox my bladder.  we're now on much better terms!