since i first found out i was pregnant, i have known that i was meant to have babies. my body is designed for this and i have no fear of pregnancy, labor, or raising children. at least once a day i have a "wow this is a freaking miracle" moment, even though i know that it's purely biology -- crazy, weird biology, but when it's all said and done it's just science and all mammals do it. i have a very high pain tolerance and a strong mental ability to talk myself into or out of anything. when i told my midwife i was considering a natural birth she said "if you think you can do it, you can." it's really that simple.
since making that decision, i've been told by just about every woman i've met to get the epidural, don't be crazy, you won't feel it, and it will be such a wonderful experience. but, i've read the statistics and i know that epidurals can slow progression which can drag labor out longer and lead to emergency c-sections. epidurals can also mask the urge to push, leading to doctor-lead pushing which can result in a higher risk of tearing or needing assistance getting the baby out. that, to me, is scary, unlike the prospect of doing something my body was made for.
i was sort of planning on just going on instinct, but i was at the used book store/coffee shop the other day and i saw a book called hypnobirthing. i had heard about it on babycenter, but the name is a little off-putting and granola. it was $10 so i figured what the hell. if i don't go in with a solid idea of what's going on, i might end up getting pushed around by the staff at the hospital and unhappy with my birth experience. this book is informative so far, but also interspersed with stories of successful (not to mention uneventful) natural births. the methods are nice, but the stories truly inspire me because we so often hear of dramatic 36 hour long labor complete with screaming and misery that end in c-section or stitched up episiotomies.
i'm also open to the idea that regardless of my mental and physical preparation i could have a narrow pelvic opening and a hard labor like all the women in my family. i'm not looking to refuse any medical intervention if my baby is truly in danger, but i am trying to avoid the downward spiral that can happen when one goes in with full trust of doctors and nurses who don't always have our best interests in mind.
don't worry, i got this!
I'm so proud of you Honey! If anybody can do it, it's you. Go Nellie!! (We should get t-shirts: "Team Nellie")
ReplyDelete<3
DeleteI'm going for a natural birth too (we're taking Bradley method classes). My mom had a super long labor with me, which scares me a bit, but worst case scenario is that the labor takes forever and eventually I get an epidural, but at least I didn't rush to get the epidural at the first sign of a contraction, you know?
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't think everyone should get an epidural at all. Lots of people don't and don't feel like it was this crazy impossible pain that wasn't tolerable. And while epidurals are relatively safe, stuff can still go wrong, they can still not work completely, etc etc.
there are no classes here that i know of, but i'd love to do something like that, especially for colby to know what's going on. we're struggling a little bit with what his role should be if i start to chicken out. i want him to push and encourage me, but how will he know if i get to a point where i truly can't do it anymore?
DeleteWhen you put him in a choke-hold, and say in Satan's voice, "GET ME AN EPIDURAL . . . NOW!" Works every time.
Delete