"it's not that serious"

i find myself thinking this so many times every day, particularly when it comes to discussing parenting with other women. babycenter is an annoying non-stop barrage of neurotic mothers stressing over the tiniest of things. how and when do i transition my baby from this thing to this thing? how many ounces should my baby be eating on this exact schedule every day? how and when and what kind of solids can i feed, and will she choke or die or poop a different color or texture? i need the most expensive, fanciest car seat and high chair or my baby will die, right? if she's in the walker for more than 20 minutes will she get hip dysplasia? my sister in law let my baby lick a popsicle... is she ruined for life? i made a bottle an hour and 15 minutes ago, did it magically turn into poison after exactly one hour?!

just stop. we should of course strive to be the best parents we can be, but how good can we be if we can't trust our instincts and simply enjoy our sweet little babies? feed your baby when she's hungry. give her some baby food or a chunk of whatever you're eating when you feel like it. it's not necessary to stress about the life time effects of not breastfeeding your kid until she's 5 and feeding only organic non-gmo homemade baby food recipes you found on pinterest. all car seats sold in the US have to meet very high minimum standards. high chairs are high chairs. i could go on and on, but i'll just say it's not a competition and it's not that serious.

i have an extremely easygoing baby and maybe i'll eat my words some day when i have another one, but i believe she is so easy and relaxed because we are. i have no idea how many total ounces of formula she eats per day. when i wanted to stop swaddling, i swaddled her with one arm out for a few nights, then no arms for a few nights and then a sleep sack or no swaddle. i didn't ask anyone what to do or freak out every day over how it would go that night. kitten used to take hours to nurse to sleep and only nap on me. it was exhausting, but i kept trying periodically to put her down for naps and eventually she figured it out with no drama or crying it out or sleep training or stress.

this isn't to say that we shouldn't do all the research and make good decisions, but if you find yourself panicking over the latest greatest baby product or something you think you should be doing to be a better mom than the next lady, take a deep breath and relax because it's just not that serious.